Hurt: A Novel (Solitary Tales Series) Read online

  Contents

  Preface

  1. Joyful and Lovely

  2. Dark Outside

  3. Five Months

  4. The Only Battle

  5. Concrete

  6. Figuring It Out

  7. Like a Disney Movie

  8. Ray of Light

  9. M&Ms

  10. When You Smile

  11. In the End

  12. The Joker

  13. Vessel

  14. Help

  15. A Little Guidance

  16. Friday Night

  17. Someone Else’s Story

  18. Ryan Gosling

  19. The Wizard of Oz

  20. Sap

  21. Ridiculous Timing

  22. About Time

  23. The Movie I’m In

  24. The Bridge

  25. Some Kind of Hero

  26. A Sliver of Sunlight

  27. Whole

  28. Faith

  29. The Ticking Clock

  30. A Gift Returned

  31. Totally and Completely

  32. The Great Below

  33. Not So Good

  34. Restlessness

  35. Freedom

  36. Nothing to Fear

  37. The Terrible Beauty of Being a Teen

  38. Mounds

  39. A Sign

  40. My Prayer

  41. Hurley’s Numbers

  42. Lost for the Moment

  43. Drum Song

  44. Head Over Heels

  45. Broken

  46. 1820

  47. A Light Blue Nightmare

  48. Babysitter

  49. Solitary for Starters

  50. A Smell, a Taste, a Touch

  51. Hundred-Year-Old Grandmother

  52. Strong

  53. Soon, My Friend

  54. More to Say

  55. Messed Up

  56. Help

  57. Armor

  58. The Conversation

  59. Surprises

  60. Strength

  61. Serious

  62. A Mess

  63. The Sun and the Rainfall

  64. What Comes Around Goes Around

  65. A Brief Lull

  66. Bummer

  67. Action

  68. The Balloon

  69. Stuck

  70. The Memories You Try to Bury

  71. Uh Huh

  72. Weird and Surprising

  73. Prayers

  74. Freeze

  75. Nowhere Fast

  76. Magical

  77. Midnight

  78. Heading In

  79. A Familiar Face

  80. Protection

  81. Sweet Dreams

  82. Monster Story

  83. Peace

  84. Lovely

  85. The Third Passage

  86. Driver’s Test

  87. Start of the Breakdown

  88. The Wheel Goes Round and Round

  89. What Is Imagined and What Is Real

  90. Question Marks or Bite Marks?

  91. A Night of Romance and Mystery

  92. Tightening

  93. Return of the Beast

  94. What’s Your Deal?

  95. Sweet Dreams Part 2

  96. Something Else for the Scrapbook

  97. Getting Out

  98. This Jerk

  99. No Light, No Light

  100. Sæglópur (Do You Understand?)

  101. End Theme

  102. The Most Beautiful Song on Your Playlist

  103. Now We Are Free

  104. My Son

  105. How You Carry On

  106. Tick of the Clock

  107. One Final Postcard

  108. Going Away for Good

  109. Rabbit Hole

  110. Something I Should’ve Done

  111. Fixed

  112. Come Alive

  113. Alone

  114. Promise (1)

  115. Promise (2)

  116. The Thinner the Air

  117. New Surroundings

  118. Facing the Grave

  119. The Pretty Picture in Front of You

  120. Again

  121. The End

  122. All the Difference

  123. Life and Death

  124. Is Your Love Strong Enough?

  125. Maker and Judge

  126. Coming Out Party

  127. Well, It’s About Time

  128. The Road Never Traveled

  129. Waiting to Exhale

  130. True Faith

  131. Triumph

  132. Asleep

  133. Just Like Heaven

  134. The Living Proof

  135. Crystal Clear

  136. Solitary

  137. All Flowers in Time

  138. Tornado

  139. Somebody

  AfterWords

  Three Recommended Playlists

  Behind the Book: Say Anything

  Acknowledgments

  Extras

  For Timothy

  Reach out and touch faith.

  —“Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode

  Preface

  That’s no ordinary dog.

  It looks more like a sickly and bloated leopard. It doesn’t quite have thick fur but does have something shaggy hanging off it, like dried leaves or clumps of mud. It’s snarling and growling.

  That’s the same dog that attacked me on the Staunch property that one time.

  I stop, unsure what to do. Keep walking and just ignore it? Put Kelsey down and try to fight it with … with a Zippo lighter? I’m all out of supernatural stuff in my pockets.

  Why couldn’t I have found a magical dagger or something?

  There’s a howling from behind me that sounds like a dying wolf.

  No. No, don’t let there be more.

  The demon dog starts walking toward me. Its open mouth is dripping gray spit. Its eyes are glowing, a disturbing kind of glow, not a majestic kind. I smell a rotten odor.

  I back up. One step. Two.

  I have to get to those woods.

  The dog is coming faster, and I know I have only seconds.

  Suddenly I hear the wild wolf sound again, but this time it’s ahead of me.

  Then I see something coming out of the woods, rushing toward the demon dog.

  It’s a wolf.

  No, it’s not a wolf. It’s the wolf, the one I’ve seen before. The gray wolf that I saw at the creek and also near the barn after Jocelyn died.

  I hear its teeth ripping something apart and then hear the high-pitched wailing of the dog. It’s awful and makes me close my eyes.

  Another wolf comes out of the woods and attacks from the other side. And I realize—not all animals around here are possessed or evil.

  Especially not these wolves.

  I hear gnawing and biting and growling and wailing, and then it seems like the air around us gets sucked in and the lights go out for the moment and I feel a chilling breeze

  death

  blow past Kelsey and me and then it’s done.

  The dog and the smell are gone.


  The wolves are sniffing the ground where it was standing and seem as puzzled as I am about the disappearance.

  They turn and face me, and I look at them. I want to say thanks or toss them a hamburger or something. I’m not sure what to do.

  The gray wolf bolts into the trees and is followed by the darker one. The path ahead is empty now. Empty and safe.

  I just hope that it’s not too late for Kelsey.

  1. Joyful and Lovely

  The first thing I see when I unlock the front door to the cabin and turn on the light is Lily.

  I freeze and clutch Midnight a bit too tight.

  Lily is dead. I saw her die with my own eyes. I can still close them and picture her body in the woods after the car she was driving took a sharp turn over a mountainside and ejected her. I still feel fortunate I was wearing a seat belt, but when I think of Lily, that word doesn’t come to mind.

  Regret is more like it.

  I shut my eyes as I hear Mr. Page’s truck backing out of the driveway and heading back home. I know I’m just seeing things. It’s just the stress of having flown back from Chicago with Kelsey and somehow managing to keep the truth from both her and my father. It’s knowing they’ve taken Mom, of knowing she’s not here, of knowing that I’ll open my eyes and Lily won’t be anywhere—

  The golden-haired goddess gives me a flirty smile as she stands.

  No.

  This is not happening. Not now.

  It’s too soon.

  I just got back to Solitary. We need a little warm-up, folks.

  We can’t get the dead girl waving in the opening scene, can we?

  “Welcome home, Chris.”

  Something about the way she says my name isn’t quite right.

  I stop breathing.

  Midnight jumps out of my hands and scampers into my mom’s bedroom. She’s probably going under the bed.

  I wonder if she can see what I’m seeing.

  Lily flips her long curly hair over her shoulder and grins. “I won’t bite. At least not today.”

  I have a weird case of déjà vu as I swallow and then shut the door, knowing this is one of those things. I’m still not sure what to call them. Episodes. Visions. Occurrences.

  Somehow I’m the chosen one to see faces of the dead like this.

  I’ve already been seeing weird things since leaving Chicago. Perhaps these are all signs that tell me I should’ve stayed there. But I had no choice. I had to come back or Mom would be hurt. Or worse.

  “Do you want to play a game, Chris?”

  There it is again. The thing with the name.

  Did she say Chris or Chrissssssss?

  I start to back up.

  “You still want me, don’t you, my dear little boy?”

  She starts to laugh in a weird way I don’t remember ever hearing.

  This is just a dream just a bad spooky thing to start my stay back in Scary I mean Solitary, North Carolina.

  As she smiles, I see her face suddenly become hard, as if the makeup has dried up and is starting to crack and flake and fall off.

  “It’s time to see behind the mask, Chrissie-pooo,” Lily says.

  But of course it’s not Lily and I know this and I’m about to open the front door when the lights go off.

  I expect a cold, dead hand to touch me, grab me. But instead I hear the shuffling of footsteps upstairs.

  My body is shivering. I can’t tell if it’s from the cold January night or from this cold greeting inside.

  Suddenly my stereo is blasting upstairs. No, strike that. Uncle Robert’s stereo is blasting. I recognize the song but can’t really think of the title or the group because I’m about to pass out.

  I’ve got to get out of here but I know this is just a dream or a vision and it can’t hurt me. Right?

  The droning singer upstairs calls out, and I know this is a message. Perhaps this is something I need to know for the battle ahead. Or for the ongoing war.

  The song grows louder with each step I take. The light is on, and I know it wasn’t on when I first stepped into the cabin. When I reach the bedroom, I don’t see Lily or the Lily-thing anywhere. I just see the familiar record player turning and a record sleeve on the bed.

  I pick it up and see the image of a stone angel lying on her back with one arm outstretched and her other hand covering her face. Above the image is the song title.

  “Love Will Tear Us Apart.”

  I know the Joy Division song. There’s nothing joyful or lovely about it or the image.

  So I wonder why the ghost of Lily wanted to share this joyous song with me as I scan the room and see the outline underneath the blanket on my bed.

  Just get out of here do what Midnight did and scramble for the closest dark corner and hide do it Chris come on!

  But as the song continues on, I move toward the head of my narrow bed and then pull back the comforter, squinting because I’m unsure what I’ll see.

  I jerk back, and the blanket pulls back with me.

  The lifeless figure on the bed is not … it’s not human.

  For a minute I just stare, wondering if it’s going to move. I’m shaking. The song ends, but I hear the record continuing to turn and the crackling through the speakers.

  I’m standing in my room, staring at a mannequin. But this isn’t just any mannequin.

  It’s wearing the same thing that thing was just wearing. A shirt and a black jacket and jeans.

  And the face and the hair actually resemble Lily.

  I take a deep breath and walk over and touch it. It’s hard and cold.

  My heart is racing.

  I shiver as I take in the blank look staring back at me.

  I’m back in good old Solitary, and this is how it begins.

  Wonderful.

  2. Dark Outside

  When the phone rings, I gladly answer it.

  “How’s your mom doing?” Kelsey asks.

  It’s only been an hour since I walked into the cabin and found that thing. After freaking out and then regaining my senses, I finally managed to bring the mannequin downstairs and put it in the laundry room. But it’s very real. And I swear—if I hear the washing machine going tonight, I’m seriously going to move out.

  “Everything’s cool,” I say.

  This is technically not a lie, because I’m playing it cool to keep things cool. I don’t know where Mom is and don’t have any idea when I’ll find out. All I know is I can’t say anything to anybody or she will die.

  “Tell her thanks again for the plane ticket,” Kelsey says.

  “Sure.”

  I know I don’t sound like myself and after the time we just spent in Chicago with my father, Kelsey is surely picking up the bad vibes.

  “I didn’t mean to call so soon—”

  “No, it’s fine.”

  “Look, I don’t mean to pressure you or anything.”

  “Kelsey, it’s fine. Seriously. I’m glad you called.”

  Because there’s this mannequin in my cabin that resembles that hot chick I got to know over the summer.

  “Thanks,” she says after a pause. “For everything.”

  “Thank you for coming.”

  For a moment I remember why I asked Kelsey to come away with me. It wasn’t to temporarily escape this crazy place. It was so she would live past midnight on New Year’s Eve.

  I’m really glad to hear her voice.

  “School seems far off,” she says.

  “So does graduation.”

  “We’ll make it. It’ll be here before we know it.”

  “And then what?”

  “And then … I don’t know. Drive off into the sunset.”

  “Can we do that now?�
�� I ask.

  “It’s pretty dark outside.”

  “Yeah.”

  I know that. And I have a bad feeling it’s going to stay dark outside for a really long time.

  3. Five Months

  Blink and it will pass you by. This place, a town always in the shadows, an address no one pays any attention to.

  It’s close to midnight, and I sit on my motorcycle, looking at the sleeping buildings and feeling the stillness. I’ve been back for just over twenty-four hours and everything feels the same. Bleak and cold and lifeless. Not just this town, but me.

  I rub my chilled hands together. The only sign of life I got today was a text from an unknown number. It said to be downtown at midnight.

  Lots of people could have sent me that text. I’m hoping that my mom sent it, but I’m afraid that it belongs to the people who have her.

  If she’s even still alive.

  I try to silence that voice, but it keeps popping up inside my head. It’s been wondering the same thing ever since I discovered that the rugged mountain man happened to be Uncle Robert in costume and that Mom had been kidnapped. The same thing the next day when we discovered the plane tickets from “Mom” for flights from Chicago to Asheville. The same question that greeted me as I opened the door to the cabin and felt the cold inside.

  Is Mom still alive, or did they kill her?

  The good news is that Mom spoke to Dad before emailing the tickets, explaining that she was too busy and too tired to make the drive up to Chicago. I think she said a few other things, perhaps some relationship stuff that Dad didn’t feel like mentioning. He never questioned the tickets or the call or anything.

  I have enough questions for both of us.

  It’s strange how I feel. The chilly, empty feeling is there, but the fear isn’t. Looking at the darkened buildings and the black windows doesn’t frighten me. Waiting out here doesn’t frighten me. The thought of dying doesn’t even frighten me.

  All I hope is that it’s not too late to save Mom.

  I see the bright lights and the big SUV, and I know who it is without even needing to hear the voice inside. I get off the bike and walk over to the street where the massive Hummer waits. I open the door and see Staunch behind the wheel, just like the first time I ever saw him.

  “Get in.”

  “Where’s my mother?”

  He jerks his head and then grits his teeth. This guy doesn’t get many people refusing to do what he’s asking.

  Especially teenagers.

  “Boy, I’m gonna tell you this once: get in the vehicle now.”